Cheapest Bar in Durban

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Sweeper
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Cheapest Bar in Durban

Post by Sweeper »

"THIS is the cheapest bar in town!"

In some cities the publican responsible would be too ashamed to admit it, but Durban isn't one of them. Tyron Ramsamy - rotund owner of the CBD Sports Bar Tavern - couldn't be prouder of the fact he sells stubbies of Castle Lager for 9 Rand ($1.40) and pints for just a fraction more.

The cheap and cheerful prices almost make up for the fact there's only a one toilet cubicle for both sexes. It doesn't have a seat. Nor a single square of toilet paper, so the drinkers have to be both adept at squats and well-stocked with tissues to avoid an embarrassing dilemma.

And then there's the smoke, hanging above the tables like a 1970s nicotine plume in an aircraft cabin. We haven't seen anything like it for more than half a decade since Australian governments banned the practice from anywhere remotely close to a passive set of lungs.

But Ramsamy is adamant his patrons must have both hands occupied while on his premises. According to a set of 10 'Liquor Laws' written up on the wall, the penalty for not lighting up while gulping down is six months imprisonment.

"I made those rules up for a bit of fun," he laughs. "I think the funniest one is llife imprisonment for vomitting after drinking."

The self-deprecating poke at alcolism strikes an immediate chord with the four Australians I'm sitting with. It's so unexpected, so refreshingly un-PC, that they break the last rule by whipping out their shiny $600 Sony Cybershots to capture the sign.

The previous rules were broken just by coming to this part of town. World Cup tourists have been strongly advised to stick to Durban's beachfront. "If you can see the water during the day, you'll be OK," the saying goes.

The beachfront, however, is both run-down and soul-less. After four days without seeing any evidence of World Cup fever outside the rather surreal 1,000-strong Socceroos tent city on Kingsmead Oval, we decide to take a risk and head downtown. If there's Germans or other foreigners in Durban, then they are keeping an extremely low profile.

But the gawking looks we recieve from passing traffic are nothing compared to the eyeballs that follow us upon entry to the Sports Bar. Not even the masses of police and yellow-bibbed "Peace Officers" could help us each not feel like a plump penguin that's just drifted into a pod of killer whales.

Many Australians have already witnessed some horrific things since arriving in South Africa. Like the hit-and-run freeway death that happened while a transfer bus carrying Socceroos fans from the airport to Kingsmead. Others have been victims. We already know of two Aussies who've been mugged, one at knife point.

So it's no surprise when Ramsamy tells us we're the first white foreigners to enter his bar since the tournament countdown began.

"The last time we had any whites was when two Australian girls were here a few months ago," he adds.

"They were absolutely drunk off their heads and they didn't leave until 11:30 at night."

He pauses and the punchline hangs in the carcenogenic air ....

Did you ever see them again?

"Never," he smiles.

At that point, our third beer takes on a taste finality as the dusk creeps through the front patio. Less than 15 minutes later we're back in the confines of Kingsmead.

From the Advertiser.

ryesmith
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Re: Cheapest Bar in Durban

Post by ryesmith »

Very brave. Cheap beer is always somehow more expensive...

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